toddlerhood

How to Maintain [Some] Order in a Shared Kids’ Room

February 6, 2012

Like many of you, my children share a room. Sharing a room teaches valuable lessons about simplicity, getting along and life. However, trying to fit all the toys and clothes for multiple children in a small room and leave room for playing is a challenge.

Rearranging the furniture for optimal floor space helps, but pursuing simplicity in the toy and clothes collection is essential.

Ten ways to simplify the toys:

Adoring grandparents. Generous friends. Thrift store finds. Christmas & birthdays.

Before you know it, your child’s room can be overflowing with toys. Toys are meant to be played with. To loosely paraphrase Solomon, “where no children are, the toys are picked up, but happily playing children are a great blessing.” (Prov. 14:4)

photo credit

However, more toys do not necessarily equal more happiness. A few sticks and pebbles are all some children in the world have. I’m not sure American kids are any happier with their buckets and buckets of toys.

Here are a ten ways that I try to balance fun and simplicity. (You can see pictures of my children’s room here, though I’ve rearranged it since then.)

Distinguish between durable and disposable toys. Some of my children’s toys I hope my grandchildren will play with, like Duplos. Some toys however (say the Easter eggs from the neighbor) I consider disposable and only keep for a few weeks. After the fun has worn off they are donated or tossed.
Choose neutral toys, when possible. Dolls and trucks are practically indispensable parts of a toy collection, but you don’t need a pink and blue version of everything!
Say “No!” Just because you’re offered free hand-me-downs or find a toy for a quarter at a yard sale, doesn’t mean your child needs it. Sometimes, you just need to say “no!” (Or let your children play with them for a few weeks and then pass them on.)
Rotate the toys so that there are less toys out and they get “new” toys regularly.
Set mess perimeters. I mentioned this in my post on clutter, but having a few guidelines for where and when toys can be played with makes such a difference! We have set clean-up times several times daily as well as a “no toys in the living room after dinner” rule. Play with one toy “set” at a time, then put it away (we’re working on this one!)
Keep birthdays & Christmas gifts simple: Laura Ingalls was happy with a tin cup and a penny. You can show your love without going overboard. Choose quality over quantity.
Gifts are a way many grandparents, other family members or friends show their love. However, sometimes the influx of gifts can get overwhelming, especially if you’re dealing with multiple children in a small room. This is a sensitive issue and may not be wise or kind in all situations, but if possible, respectfully address overly generous gift-givers. My children have been blessed with grandparents that are so thoughtful of my children and me with their gifts. But, if you are getting overwhelmed by gifts, try to find a kind way to encourage gifts that will bless your child and you. A frazzled mom is not a good gift! A few possible ideas: offer hints for toys your child would treasure, let them know that what your child has plenty of toys and would most like would be to spend time with them (a trip to the zoo, museum, etc.) or set up an Amazon wish list for your child. (Remember though, never wound someone who loves your child over gifts!)
Embrace the simple things. Boxes for boats, blankets for forts, chairs for houses. Children are so creative and content! Often, it’s the parent not the child who thinks they need more.
Donate, sell or toss unused toys. Clearing out the toys that aren’t loved makes room to really enjoy the treasured toys. If you find toys consistently taken out and forsaken (for you to step on ) it’s time for them to go!
Get outside. Let them play with the sticks and pebbles… and maybe even take a dip in the mud.

This post is getting dreadfully long. We’ll have to tackle the kids’ clothes Wednesday…

(Thank you Jenn, from the lovely blog The Purposeful Mom for inspiring this post with your comment! )

What about you? How do you handle all the toys? I would *love* your ideas (especially since we plan to add little Meg to the kids’ room soon)!

Linking up at Handful of Heart and Better Mom Monday

Principles and Methods of Parenting

January 9, 2012

Before having children, I had a very clear idea of how I wanted to raise my children. The problem is, the methods seem much less clear cut now that I’m dealing with my own little ones. Sometimes what I thought would work so perfectly, simply doesn’t work for me.

In her excellent book, The Fruit of Her Hands, Nancy Wilson gives a wonderful encouragement to all mothers: distinguish between principle and methods.

Principles are are standards that God has laid down in His Word that we must follow.

Methods are ways of carrying out those principles.

God has given us principles like “love your children” and “raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” How we carry out those principles varies. Widely.

That is part of the glory of motherhood. Each Christian mother reflects the principles slightly differently. This is also part of the challenge of motherhood.

photo credit

When a method isn’t working:

Do you ever feel like all of a sudden, a method that seemed so sound simply stops working for your child?

Recently, my two-year-old son developed terrible panic when laid down. The moment I put him in his bed, he screamed and grew irrational and climbed out of his bed. He did this over and over. Every day.

I was exhausted and bewildered. I tried pretty much everything to get him to calmly lay down. Nothing worked. What was I doing wrong?

At Christmas I mentioned the problem to my mother-in-law. She has eleven children and after thinking about it for a while, offered advice.

Stop giving him naps. Let him play so hard during the day that he’s exhausted at night and actually wants to go to bed. Make bed a place he wants to go.

Stop giving him naps?! That was not what I wanted to hear. I know some kids who nap ’til they’re five and that’s what I wanted. But nowhere in Scripture does it say that children need to nap. “Take a nap” is not a principle of parenting. “Love your children” is.

So far, this method is working. He has a quiet time not in his bed and at night is so tired he usually doesn’t fuss at all.

Maybe your kids take wonderful naps (I hope for your sake they do!) Maybe it’s another area where the tried-and-true methods are not working.

Distinguish between principles and methods. Follow God’s principles, but just because a method works for one mom (or even most moms), doesn’t mean it will for you. It’s okay.

Part of A Handful of Heart, Better Mom Monday and Teach Me Tuesday

Tagged with: book review • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

What Is Important to You?

December 20, 2011

“What is important to you?” our pastor asked in his sermon. Before I had finished making a mental list, he continued, “Your children know by your words.”

“Your children know.” These words keep ringing in my mind. Children know what is important to us by what they hear: by our words to them and in front of them.

I’m guest posting today at Raising Mighty Arrows. Head over to Heather’s blog to finish reading this post. (While you’re there, stick around and explore her encouraging site!)

Tagged with: guest post • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

Look Into Your Child’s Eyes

December 15, 2011

“Enjoy your kids, they’ll be grown before you know it,” has got to be the most repeated advice given to moms with young children. I can hardly walk into a store without a sweet grandma pausing to smile at the kids and remind me, “They grow up so fast!”

I believe it.

Each child added to the family seems to make the “play” speed of life a little faster. The time between Christmases feels shorter.

photo by kordian deren

Recently I was talking with my mother-in-law and she repeated the sage advice but added, “Make sure you take time to look into their eyes.”

Eyes are the “window of the soul” and “the light of the body.” (Matt. 6:22) Of course I look into my children’s eyes! I love them. But I’ve been consciously stopping to do so more.

When I look into my infant’s eyes, her whole face lights up like I’d handed her the moon with a few stars thrown in.
When I gaze into my toddler’s eyes and smile, I don’t need to add “I love you.” He knows it and wraps his arms around me.
When I look into my preschooler’s eyes, life’s little vexations seem little again.

Gazing into a child’s eyes is like pushing the pause button on the fast march of time. They grow up so quickly. Push the pause button often and gaze into their eyes.

Linked up at Proverbs 31 Thursdays and Finer Things Friday.

Tagged with: childhood innocence • real life inspiration • toddlerhood

Snowflake Christmas Countdown

December 1, 2011

Advent began last Sunday. We were home sick and the day totally slipped by. It wasn’t until reading Nursery of the Nation’s post about making her own Advent Calendar that the thought even dawned on me. I had to jump on board. It’s too late to be a real advent calendar, so ours is simply a Christmas Countdown.

Instead of chocolate for each day like the ones I grew up with, this advent calendar has a daily activity to do together. [Nothing against chocolate advent calendars. They're awesome. I *loved* them as a kid. But I'm potty training and handing out way too much chocolate as it is! ]

After three years of law school and having nearly a month off to spend with family out-of-state the whole thought of actually anticipating Christmas here, with my kids is exciting but new.

Time slips by so quickly. I want to treasure these days with little ones and having a fun activity to do together each day seemed like a great way to spend more time together.

I didn’t have felt on hand so used what I had on hand: an old box, white paper and a piece of scrapbook paper and ribbon.

The two older kids and I had so much fun cutting out snowflakes (though I think 2 is ~~a bit~~ way too young! Even Rose needed lots of help.]

I cut a piece from a big box we had sitting around. The edges were rough and ugly, so we covered them up with cute paper.

Then I wrote activities on the backs of the snowflakes for us to do together. They’re in no particular order. All of the small snowflakes are afternoon activities for the kids and me. The big snowflakes are activities we’ll do as a family.

The activities are really simple. Here are a few of them:

Make hot chocolate and tell Christmas stories
Draw pictures together to send to Nana
Make snowflakes to hang in their bedroom
Make and decorate Christmas cookies
Have a Christmas poetry night

We’d hopefully do many of them anyway. But having them written down, waiting for the kids to uncover, will ensure that that time together isn’t pushed aside for holiday craziness.

It’s simple, but I know they’ll like it!

What are your favorite Christmas things to do with little ones?

Tagged with: Christmas • crafts • holidays • toddlerhood

Crayon Meets Laundry

November 19, 2011

…or what happens if you think your day is going too smoothly.

Tagged with: childhood innocence • laughing at life • toddlerhood

Natural Ear Ache Remedy

November 15, 2011

photo by Jean Scheijen

Modern medicine has made great strides, but don’t you love it when a simple home remedy works better than a bottle of $30 antibiotic drops? It makes me stand even more in awe of Creation!

My daughter developed an awful ear ache this summer. Her ear drained so much I was sure that the ear drum had ruptured.After a reassuring doctor visit (it was *just* really bad Swimmer’s Ear) we went home armed with anti-biotic drops, confident that the ear would soon heal.

It didn’t heal.

Two weeks and two different prescriptions later, her ear was still aching, but the drainage was now curdled and yeasty! Ouch. The bacterial infection had turned into a fungal infection.

Just as I was about to head back to the doctor, my nurse midwife recommended an old home remedy: mix equal parts of rubbing alcohol and vinegar (yet another use for vinegar!)

Clean around the ear gently and add a few drops into each ear. Repeat three to four times daily until healed.

The mixture reeks (I warned you!), but instantly soothed the pain. The next day it was already looking better and within a few days her ear was completely healed.

The wonderful thing about this mixture is that it simultaneously attacks a bacterial infection and a fungal infection. One of the problems with the anti-biotic drops was that they killed the good bacteria, as well as the bad. That made it ripe for a fungal infection. The vinegar and rubbing alcohol work together to combat both a fungal and bacterial infection.

Caution: If your child’s ear is draining, take them to have it checked. Although the ear drum wasn’t ruptured in our case, usually drainage indicates a rupture. You wouldn’t want to pour vinegar into a ruptured opening!

This worked for me, what’s your favorite home remedy?

Linked up at Frugal Friday and Tip Me Tuesday

Tagged with: healthy living • natural remedies • toddlerhood

Make the Punishment Fit the Crime

November 14, 2011

There have been many times in history when punishments did not fit the crime. In 1776 there were almost 200 capital offenses in England. The list included crimes like stealing a horse or nice candlesticks.

Alexis de Tocqueville, in part of his masterful (but long-winded) work Democracy in America, contrasts the justice system in America with that in France in the 1800s. He tells how, in France, a person could be executed for stealing candlesticks. Often, however, the criminal would be let free because, well, death for candlesticks just doesn’t seem quite right. Judges, juries and public opinion cried for mercy.

In America, he argued, punishments actually fit the crime, so they were respected.

Photo by Robin Davis

What on earth does this have to do with the 21st century? Well, a lot. For parents. (Am I weird that a history book made me think of parenting?) We’ve all witnessed the scene of a mom with an ornery kid in Wal-mart:

The child pulls a Snicker bar off the shelf.

“Put that back Johnny,” says mom.

“But I’m hungry,” Johnny retorts.

“But I said put it back.” [Duh!]

Johnny puts it back but grabs a Kit Kat and grins at Mom.

“Put that back RIGHT NOW or, or you can’t have candy for a year!”

We can sympathize with Frazzled Mom, but rest assured she won’t carry out her threat. Dad will intervene, siblings will plead, Johnny will start behaving and Mom will give in. The punishment did not fit the crime.

Whether in Wal-mart, the van or at home, moms often resort to threats to get their child to behave. “Your room better be clean in five minutes or you won’t get any dinner!” “Stop kicking your sister’s seat or we’ll quit soccer!”

It may work the first few times, but sooner or later Johnny will realize that Mom won’t carry through on her threat.

Rather than resorting to daunting threats that you know won’t get carried through, establish rules with reasonable rewards and consequences. And always follow through. Let Johnny know that pulling food off the grocery store shelves means that he won’t get a snack on the way home (for example). Let him see that your rules are just and that disobedience is rewarded. Every time. Justly.

Johnny will start to respect the rules when he finds that the punishments are just… and he can’t finagle his way out of them!

Am I the only one that finds parenting tips in odd places? Have you?

Tagged with: book reviews • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

Little Milestones

November 9, 2011

photo by Lesley Mackin

My daughter picked up a wash cloth off the floor (thanks spittupy baby!) and started to wipe her hands on it. Just as I was about to remind her that “the floor is dirty and we don’t wipe our hands on washcloths from the floor” she said to herself, “You don’t wipe buttery fingers on your clothes. Butter will stain them.” She was quoting from a conversation we had yesterday.

Taking their first step, saying their first word and reading their first book are major milestones in a child’s life. But each day with little ones is filled with milestones.

Little milestones.

They’re easy to miss. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to me that my toddler ate all his breakfast instead of dumping it into his cup (like he did every day the past week.) I’m sure it took a lot of self-restraint. Wiping her fingers on a dirty washcloth meant that my daughter had learned not to wipe them on her clothes.

Teaching a child is a lot like teaching math, as Rachel Jankovic puts it in her hilarious and inspiring book Loving the Little Years. Just as you master the basic addition of saying “please” and not coloring on the walls, basic subtraction gets thrown into the mix. It can feel like they’re never getting it. There’s always a new attitude to adjust or new concept to conquer. But really they’re passing milestones all the time. All that training will pay off.

Don’t be discouraged! Addition is easy now.

Linked up at Proverbs 31 Thursday and Women Living Well Wednesdays and Handful of Heart

Tagged with: childhood innocence • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

Dealing with Great Expectations (of a Full Night’s Sleep)

November 2, 2011

Expectations surround us. We expect things of others, of nature, of ourselves. Other expect things of us. Many times expectations are reasonable. Most of the time they are met.

The sun rises. The chair holds our weight. Husband comes home from work. The internet stays connected. Baby falls asleep.

Expectations are a necessary part of life. Imagine what life would be like if we paused each time before sitting down to fully test the chair’s ability to hold our weight. Or constantly tested the ceiling strength to make sure it didn’t cave in on us. Or tried to will our heart to pump blood. We become conditioned to the way the world works, and expect it to continue working the same way.

photo by Gareth Weeks

However, expectations aren’t always met. Sometimes I find myself unconsciously expecting motherhood to be easy. It’s not. I think “homemaker” is the best career ever, but it’s not easy. Babies aren’t born mindful of their mothers’ sleep needs. Toddlers don’t come preprogrammed to share, ask nicely or go potty in the potty chair. Nobody said motherhood was supposed to be easy. Choosing to bring a life into the world means choosing sacrifice. Choosing to sacrifice time, money, personal time and, in a very real sense, our bodies as we raise up our children.

What’s wrong with expecting at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep? Nothing. If you don’t have an infant, sick children or an odd work schedule.

Have you ever noticed how much expectations affect attitudes?

Daisy is an angel baby and sleeps well at night, most of the time. Then there are those nights. If I crawl into bed at 10:00 expecting to roll out of bed in the morning rested and ready to start the day and baby gets up three times and the toddler wakes up an hour early, it’s easy to get upset. To think that somehow I was robbed of sleep I should have had.

If, on the other hand, I go to bed embracing my calling as mother to small children, knowing that this stage of life often calls for a sacrifice of sleep, then getting up with them is much easier. I still might be groggy, but I didn’t expect six solid hours of sleep. Choosing instead to trust in God’s plan for my night.

Life is full of trials, petty and big. Instead of expecting the road to be always easy, expect God to give the grace to handle the road He’s picked.

Linked up at Proverbs 31 Thursday

Tagged with: contentment • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

How to Maintain [Some] Order in a Shared Kids’ Room

Ten ways to simplify the toys:

Principles and Methods of Parenting

When a method isn’t working:

What Is Important to You?

Look Into Your Child’s Eyes

Snowflake Christmas Countdown

Crayon Meets Laundry

Natural Ear Ache Remedy

Make the Punishment Fit the Crime

Little Milestones

Dealing with Great Expectations (of a Full Night’s Sleep)

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