Grateful for Bills to Pay

January 30, 2012

News has it that prices are rising. I’m sure if you’ve gone grocery shopping the past year, you’ve noticed it. Packages are shrinking and the prices keep inching up.

Inflation isn’t fun. It is a tax on everyone. 

Rates are rising and it’s easy to want to grumble when it comes time to pay the bills. Like so many things in life though, complaints so often cloak our blessings. We just have to learn to look at them properly. The simple fact that we have a water or heating bill is cause for gratitude!


Grateful for water bills

photo credit

  • The average woman in Africa walks three miles a day, just to get water for her family. I pay less than $50 a month to have it delivered to my kitchen faucet!
  • Our ancestors spend hours of back-breaking labor to chop down trees and store them for the cold winter months. We flip a little switch and stay warm all winter.
  • Writing a rent check means that my children have a roof over their heads and even an indoor bathroom (!!)
  • The price of gas doesn’t make filling up the van very fun. But would you rather walk?

Rising prices are not fun, but the next time you’re tempted to complain, just remember, a water bill is cause for gratitude!

linked up at Gratituesday and Teach Me Tuesdays

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Beauty in Praise: Guest Posting

January 16, 2012

Does it ever feel that life gets so busy that before you’ve had a chance to stop and take a breath, another week has crept by and you have been going from event to event with no time to pause? The calendar fills up, day to day needs press upon us and it’s so easy to loose focus.

This evening I was feeling overwhelmed and very, very tired (many thanks, darling baby)! I stepped outside just for a minute to gaze at the stars.

photo credit

I’m guest posting today over at These Five of Mine Plus Two. Head over to my friend Kasey’s lovely blog to finish reading this post. While you’re there, check out her Handful of Heart link up! 

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“Master, What About Me?”

January 12, 2012

Comparing. We humans tend to be good at it.

Sometimes comparing is simply jealousy for a nicer home or cuter wardrobe. There is another kind of comparing though: the comparing that looks at our sister’s story or our sister’s method and gets discouraged.

  • She runs her home more smoothly I do.
  • Her children are doing so much better in school than mine.
  • Look at all the people that were blessed through her life!
  • She stretches her money farther than I do.
  • Why has she been blessed with a much greater ministry opportunity?

photo credit

Yesterday, I was reading Passionate Homemaking, a blog I’ve loved for years, and Lindsey shared about the new direction she believes God is leading her blog in. Immediately, I started doubting and second-guessing, “Is what I’m blogging about as worthwhile? Should I follow her?”

Then the story about the disciple Peter came to mind. Jesus had just told Peter that he would have to suffer for His sake and Peter turns, looks at the disciple John and asks, “Master, what about him?”

Jesus never answers the question.

John was later imprisoned, but Jesus doesn’t tell Peter that. Instead He says, “…What is that to you? You follow Me!” (John 21:24 ESV)

Few of us have, or likely ever will, experiences physical persecution. The question, “Master, what about her?” is still dangerously common though.

It’s as easy to compare now as it was then.

Jesus’ answer “You follow Me!” rings just as true. God calls each of us to different paths. Just like in parenting, we need to distinguish between the methods and principles of women of God.

God lays down principles in His Word. We must strive to follow those principles. But God also gives so much freedom in the methods we use to follow those principles!

Just because someone else is called to blog about certain things, or teaches her children a certain way, or knits amazingly, or cleans her house a certain way, or [insert Mrs. Jones' wonderful talent here], doesn’t mean I need to too.

Reading about other women’s methods should inspire us as we seek to carry out the principles in God’s Word. However, we need to distinguish between the principles that we should follow and the methods that we may follow.

Likewise, we should be inspired as we witness God write a friend’s story. Yet we must remember that as the Master Storyteller, God writes each story differently and this is a glorious, beautiful thing! 

linked up at Finer Things Friday and Teach Me Tuesday

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Principles and Methods of Parenting

January 9, 2012

Before having children, I had a very clear idea of how I wanted to raise my children. The problem is, the methods seem much less clear cut now that I’m dealing with my own little ones. Sometimes what I thought would work so perfectly, simply doesn’t work for me.

In her excellent book, The Fruit of Her Hands, Nancy Wilson gives a wonderful encouragement to all mothers: distinguish between principle and methods.

Principles are are standards that God has laid down in His Word that we must follow. 

Methods are ways of carrying out those principles. 

God has given us principles like “love your children” and “raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” How we carry out those principles varies. Widely.

That is part of the glory of motherhood. Each Christian mother reflects the principles slightly differently. This is also part of the challenge of motherhood.

Little Boy Playing

photo credit

When a method isn’t working:

Do you ever feel like all of a sudden, a method that seemed so sound simply stops working for your child?

Recently, my two-year-old son developed terrible panic when laid down. The moment I put him in his bed, he screamed and grew irrational and climbed out of his bed. He did this over and over. Every day.

I was exhausted and bewildered. I tried pretty much everything to get him to calmly lay down. Nothing worked. What was I doing wrong?

At Christmas I mentioned the problem to my mother-in-law. She has eleven children and after thinking about it for a while, offered advice.

Stop giving him naps. Let him play so hard during the day that he’s exhausted at night and actually wants to go to bed. Make bed a place he wants to go.

Stop giving him naps?! That was not what I wanted to hear. I know some kids who nap ’til they’re five and that’s what I wanted. But nowhere in Scripture does it say that children need to nap. “Take a nap” is not a principle of parenting. “Love your children” is.

So far, this method is working. He has a quiet time not in his bed and at night is so tired he usually doesn’t fuss at all.

Maybe your kids take wonderful naps (I hope for your sake they do!) Maybe it’s another area where the tried-and-true methods are not working.

Distinguish between principles and methods. Follow God’s principles, but just because a method works for one mom (or even most moms), doesn’t mean it will for you. It’s okay.

Part of A Handful of Heart, Better Mom Monday and Teach Me Tuesday

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One Habit a Month [12 Habits 2012]

January 4, 2012

I was planning to post this before the dawn of 2012. My computer died and it just didn’t happen. Even though it’s late, I’d better practice what I preach and not let perfectionism paralyze my plans. 

I have this image in my mind of an “ideal me.” A me that always gets up early to read my Bible and exercise, gets dressed long before 11 am, never runs late, spends hours each week just reading and treasuring my kids, has a nourishing and yummy dinner ready to pull out of the oven when my husband gets home, and, well, the list goes on and on.

I am miles from my own ideal.

On time? Those words are hardly even in my vocabulary.

On the one hand it is okay. The highest calling of a Christian is to love and worship our King. You can worship in your pajamas while stepping over loads of laundry to get dinner in the oven.

But each of us has an earthly calling too. As a wife and mother I am called to wisely build my home.

I wish I could have rolled out of bed January 1st, turned over a new leaf and been an “ideal me.”

I’ve tried.

It works for about 24 hours. (Actually, make that 24 minutes.)

Trying to tackle a hundred habits all at once almost certainly will fail. Crystal, in her excellent series 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life challenges us instead to implement one habit at a time. That is what I plan to do in 2012.

Building new habits takes time. Lots of time. Research shows that it takes about 21 days to develop a new habit. I’m going to give myself a month.

Each month in 2012 I will choose one habit that would help me carry out my calling better and prayerfully seek to cultivate that habit.

Would you care to join me?

Of course our habits will look different. Each home has its own unique culture and that’s a glorious thing! Each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses.

A habit that would really benefit my family might not be good for yours. But we could all encourage one another as we seek to become more disciplined women of God.

The first weekday of each month (or tomorrow, in this case!), I’ll list the habit I will be working on with a linky for those that want to join me. On the last weekday of the month, I’ll post my progress (hopefully!) and what I’ve learned, with a linky for you to join me. Don’t have a blog? We’d love to have you join us in the comments.

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Don’t Let Perfectionism Paralyze Action

January 3, 2012

Striving too hard for perfection sometimes keeps us from doing anything at all.

I’m reminded of the wicked servant in the parable of the talents. The King gave gold to each of his servants. The wise servants went out, worked and traded and earned more. The wicked servant, for fear of messing up, buried his gold in the ground.

Far too often I am like that wicked servant. Instead of following through, I think and dream and stew. I spend so much time trying to perfect a goal or come up with a perfect schedule that there’s not enough time to actually carry it through.

 photo credit

This point was brought home to me recently:

I decided to teach my daughter a Christmas themed-poem. I just needed to find one. Days and weeks passed as I read poem after poem trying to find the perfect one for her. One was too long and another too short. Others carried the wrong message. Finally I settled on a poem, but by this point there wasn’t enough time left before Christmas to teach it to her.

My insistence on finding a perfect poem robbed us of time to actually learn any poem.

Unfortunately, perfectionism doesn’t just create problems learning Christmas poems. Many areas in life can be affected.

  • Stressing about having the absolute best curriculum can lead to not wisely utilizing what we do have.
  • Over-analysis of purchases wastes precious time that could be used to enjoy it
  • Writing and rewriting an e-mail, blog post or letter means it may not get finished on time

Some decisions require hours of prayer, soul-searching and seeking advice. Often however, we need to stop worrying about having everything absolutely perfect and just diligently act. Now.

As Amy (from Blogging with Amy) wrote in a recent post, in blogging and many other areas of life “Good Enough is Good Enough.”

[Speaking of acting, want to join me in my One Habit a Month [12 Habits 2012] Challenge?]

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Eternal God. Mortal Man.

January 2, 2012

Happy New Year, dear friends!

Our family is back home after a lovely Christmas holiday with a new-to-me working laptop in tow! Hurrah! [And many thanks to my generous brother!]

Another year has ended. Can you believe it? Another chapter in the quick progression of time has closed.

As I look back on 2011, God’s grace and goodness to our family are repeatedly evident: Josh finished law school, passed the bar and started a year-long judicial clerkship. A precious little blessing joined our family and I got to quit my online job and “just” be mom.

Looking forward to 2012, I know that God’s hand will continue to write each of our stories.

It could be brimming with sorrow or bursting with joy. None of us know. But standing at the brink of the year, the future is an adventure shrouded in mystery.

I do know this year holds change for our family. Joshua’s job ends in August and we don’t know what he’ll do next. Part of me is excited as we wait to see how the future unfolds.

Part of me is impatient to know. To know where we will be a year from now. What state we will live in. What job Josh will have. What home we’ll live in.

photo by Sias van Schalkwyk

The New Year’s sermon, from Psalm 90, “the prayer of Moses, the man of God,” reminded me again to put these small changes in their proper light.

Psalm 90 was most likely written near the end of Moses’ life, as he and the children of Israel wandered in the desert.

What were the children of Israel doing? Waiting to die. Except for Caleb and Joshua, all the adults had to die before their children could enter the promised land.

The psalm breathes with the fleeting nature of life. Man is “like a dream” and “like grass” that withers.

There in the desert, the mothers and fathers couldn’t build lovely homes to leave as an inheritance for their children or work hard so they “could enjoy a nice retirement.”

Yet the psalm is full of hope and life. The Lord was their “dwelling place in all generations.”

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the cares of this world, with home and work and just plain old stuff.

As we begin 2012, may Moses’ prayer become our prayer too:

12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!”

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Christmas Expectations

December 21, 2011

Christmas is almost here and expectations run high. Presents under the tree, Christmas parties and treasured time with loved ones and friends fill the air with anticipation.

But expectations don’t always get met: perhaps you couldn’t afford the gift you wanted for your child or long-anticipated plans were cancelled or you have to pull out the cough remedies (again.) Maybe your children take turns waking you up at night and you can’t remember what it feels like to not be tired. Maybe the trials aren’t little things. Maybe they are large and looming.

Even though Christmas is a time of excitement and expectations, we need to be careful to have our expectations grounded in Christ. To remember that His sovereignty extends to the details of our lives.

photo by mattnolt

I have been blessed by a “cloud of witnesses” in my life that point me to Christ and show trust and joy in the midst of trials. One of them is my brother’s beautiful bride, Amber.

On our most recent trip to see extended family, we dropped by Amber’s house. She was busily getting ready to fly out of town with my brother, but they had offered their home to a family in need of a place to stay while they left.

The house was spotless, she had cookies on the table and “Welcome” and “Rules of the House” notes on the table. [Rules like "God loves children. So do we. Everything in the house is replaceable. Let your kids be kids."]

It was obvious she had poured hours into preparing for their arrival.

Just before we left, my brother got a call saying the family didn’t want to come after all.

I watched Amber. Her face didn’t betray a trace of disappointment or being upset for all her “wasted time.” So I asked, “Aren’t you disappointed?”

“I wanted them to come, yes. But, Anna, I believe God is sovereign. He knows what is best.”

She wasn’t just saying it because that’s what a good Christian should say. She believed it and was just acting on it. Now of course, company canceling is not a major, life-altering trial. But sometimes it’s the little wrinkles in my plans that frustrate me.

God is sovereign.

I believe that. But sometimes I don’t act like I believe it.

God said He has “a wonderful plan for our lives,” and it’s easy to expect that to mean a decent job, a house, a car, food on the table at least three times a day and, well, a wonderful Christmas. After all, Jeremiah says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11 ESV)

Unfortunately, this promise is made right in the middle of a prophecy of captivity. Seventy years of captivity.

God doesn’t promise His followers an easy life. He does pour out abundant blessings, but His wonderful plan for his followers often includes poverty, not a new Mercedes.

His wonderful plan for Mary was complete with a warning that “a sword would pierce [her] own heart.” (Luke 2:35) Yet she submissively welcomed His plan, knowing it would be painful. But also believing that it would give “hope and a future” to mankind.

None of our lives will carry the epic weight that Mary’s did, but we, like her, are still called to wait upon God and have our expectations satisfied in Him:

  • To hold our plans with open hands
  • To not expect a full night’s sleep, perfect health, a new house or for our laundry-list-of-Western-wants to be satisfied, but to expect God’s mercy to lead us on the right road.
  • To expect trials and joy, knowing that He is sovereign over all.
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What Is Important to You?

December 20, 2011

“What is important to you?” our pastor asked in his sermon. Before I had finished making a mental list, he continued, “Your children know by your words.”

“Your children know.” These words keep ringing in my mind. Children know what is important to us by what they hear: by our words to them and in front of them.

I’m guest posting today at Raising Mighty Arrows. Head over to Heather’s blog to finish reading this post. (While you’re there, stick around and explore her encouraging site!) 

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Choose to Remember Joy

December 7, 2011

photo by Kai-jens Meyer

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ”root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” Romans 12:15 ESV

Bitterness is like a weed that seeks to entwine itself around our soul and squeeze out our joy.

A child’s worldview is shaped by millions of moments, most of which he will forget. Even as adults, our minds can only retain so much. One memory crowds out the next.

We must choose our memories.

Each heart “knows its own bitterness.” We all face trials and challenges in our Christian walk. Sometimes they are big, sometimes small, but they are always present. Present to refine us, humble us, mold us and show us God’s mercy.

Looking back on the past though, we have a choice. The trials may be emblazoned on our memory. We must choose to not let their pain make us bitter, but to remind us of God’s mercy as He led us through it.

We must deal with the past. Repent of the sin. Work through the wrongs. But we cannot let the past poison the present.

We must choose to think on the ways that God showered us with His love in the past. To focus on the good times spent with our parents, rather than the few bad memories most children have. To treasure the many blissful moments as a wife, rather than stew over the few rough times. To treasure the hugs and giggles of toddlerhood, rather than begrudge the lost sleep and the drama and tears.

We must choose to remember joy. 

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