The dinner table holds many fond memories from my growing up years. After we’d eaten dinner as a family, we lingered around the table. Sometimes we sang. Sometimes we talked about current events. Occasionally I’d subject my sweet family to a fifteen minute history lesson on the causes of the Battle of Hastings. (I’m so glad they love me!)

As we children grew older and our schedules got more hectic, dinnertime became even more special. I remember unwillingly dragging myself away from the table because I simply had to go study for a test.

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In our hectic culture, it’s getting more rare for families to eat dinner together each night. According to a recent Gallup poll, only about a quarter of Americans with children eat dinner together daily. Almost one quarter eat three dinners or less together per week.

Even more sad is that the average parent only spends 38.5 minutes in meaningful conversation with their children per week! (A.C. Nielsen Co.)

38.5 minutes isn’t nearly enough time to nurture a soul and shape a worldview.

In the Bible, the table is where much of the worldview-shaping in a family takes place. The table is a place for teaching, for feasting, for fellowship. When the Psalmist painted a picture of a blessed man, he described his children “as olive plants round about his table.” (Ps. 128)

My desire is that as my children hit their teenage years, they find it as hard to pull away from our table as I did from my parents’.

But a table the family loves to linger around doesn’t just happen. It takes work, time, and lots of love.

Building our family culture is part of our calling and making the most of mealtimes is part of that building process.

• Start meaningful conversations. Take turns sharing about your day, tell what you’re grateful for, and ask questions. Teach your children to listen and ask questions too.
• Make the meal beautiful. This is one my mom was so good at! She often pulled out a pretty tablecloth, lighted a candle, and made a centerpiece. Even for simple meals, the food looked aesthetically pleasing. I remember her adding green beans to the meal at the last minute because “the meal has too much brown and orange in it.”
• Learn together. Memorize a poem together or take turns sharing new things you’ve learned. As they get older, encourage them to share about what they’ve learned in school or discovered themselves.
• Teach about food. What better time to teach your children about different kinds of food and the benefits of eating good fresh food, than while sitting around the table!
• Tell stories. There are few things my children love more than a family story. I have also started telling the stories of the Bible to them at breakfast. My five and three-year-old love it, even though I’m generally reading straight from the pages of the Bible. Not only does telling stories at breakfast mean that they’re sitting nice and still, we don’t let a busy day crowd out the Scriptures!
• Treasure meals together. I am so blessed to have a husband that is such a good example in this. Even when he’s incredibly busy at work, he makes great efforts to come home and eat with us. Sometimes I don’t do as good of a job. If I really want my children to treasure mealtimes, I need to lead by example and treat time with them around the table as more important than getting the dishes done efficiently.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

[Full disclosure: links to products in this post are my referral links.]

From the archives. 

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Before I was a mom, a clean home seemed reasonable.

Before I was a mom, I thought there was only one right method for most mommy dilemmas.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize that closing the bathroom door is a universal cue for children to need you.

Before I was a mom, I thought I had mastered patience.

Before I was a mom, a “quick errand” really was quick.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t appreciate my own mom nearly enough.

Before I was a mom, the phrase “sleeping like a baby” made sense.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize that sometimes all the parenting advice will fail and only prayer will work.

Before I was a mom, I thought my parents exaggerated when they said “enjoy every moment, because before you know it your kids will be grown.” Now, I believe it.

Before I was a mom, I never thought I could read Dr. Seuss so many times without losing my sanity.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t know that getting three children to nap simultaneously deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize how much more precious chubby, sticky fingers are than a mountain of diamonds.  

Wishing a very Happy Mother’s Day to my own dear mother and mother-in-law and the many wonderful women who have embraced the high calling of motherhood.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Graced Simplicity, Proverbs 31, & Finer Things Friday

Motherhood is one of the most wonderful, but challenging, journeys it’s possible for a woman to undertake.

Stacks of parenting books and years of babysitting experience cannot adequately prepare you for every challenge that will arise as you seek to raise your children in the “fear and nurture of the LORD.”

Raising our children in God’s fear requires God’s wisdom. Thankfully, He gives His wisdom liberally to those ask.

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My lack of answers was driven home to me early in my journey of motherhood. Most vivid in my mind is our “Yes ma’am” battle.

Joshua and I decided we really liked how respectful [many of the] children in the South are and their quick and cheerful “Yes ma’am” or “No sir”. We wanted Rose, then three, to start saying it too.

For some reason I can’t figure out, it became a battle. A huge battle. We’d be enjoying a lovely morning together when I’d ask her to say “Yes ma’am” and suddenly her whole mood changed. I tried everything I could think of. I read parenting books and asked our moms for advice. Nothing worked. After weeks (maybe it was just days, but it sure felt like weeks) of this losing battle, I was desperate

I asked God for wisdom.

Before even getting up from my knees, the solution was clear.

Rose and I sat down and talked about authority. We talked about how she and Will are under our authority, I am under Joshua’s, we’re all under civil and ecclesiastical authority and most especially under God’s authority. I explained that even though Joshua and I are grown and no longer have to obey our parents we still seek to respect them and ask them for advice.

It’s still amazing to me, but from that moment, her attitude completely changed. She said “Yes ma’am!” with a smile and a kiss. I no longer dreaded asking her to do something.

Many times since then a motherhood challenge has left me stumped and desperate (and my oldest is only pushing six!) Many times I’ve been forced to my knees. God has never failed yet.

James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

It’s a promise I’ve claimed many times since entering this wonderful journey of motherhood and one I’m sure I’ll need to rely on many times more.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

[Normally I shy away from posts encouraging you to sign up for this or that great deal because I don't want that to be the focus of this site. Occasionally though I get a deal that seems too good not to share with someone. Today, you are that someone! Lucky you, right?]

Have you heard about Ebates before? I’ve heard about online cashback sites like Ebates for a long time but honestly didn’t think they were worth the trouble.

Until today.

I had a fairly large online purchase I needed to make so I thought why not check out Ebates? 

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I clicked on Ebates and was greeted with one pleasant surprise after another.

First, if you’re new to Ebates, you get to choose a $10 giftcard to Wal-mart or several other major retailers OR a $5 giftcard to Ebates after you make your first $25 dollar purchase! (How painless is that if you have to place an order anyway?!) 

To make the deal sweeter, Ebates offers 6% cashback on orders from Kohls where I had to make my purchase. 

It took all of 45 seconds to sign up, enter my address for them to ship my $10 Wal-mart giftcard to, and click on their Kohl’s link. No credit card information or profile information required. It’s simple, painless and fast. 

Ebates offers cash back on hundreds of online stores, usually ranging from 3-8%. Next time I make an online purchase all I have to do is sign in, click on the store I’m ordering from, and earn cash back! I’m guesstimating a 15 second time investment tops. 

3% to 8% may not be a ton, but it sure adds up, especially if you do a lot of your gift shopping online! It’s so painless I’m wondering why on earth I didn’t sign up with Ebates sooner!

Want to give it a try? Click here to get started and earn your $10 giftcard!

Then, if you find it as simple and worthwhile as I did, you can share it with your friends and earn $5 for each friend who signs up.

[Full disclosure: Links to products in this post are my referral links.]

Rose and I were planting peas last week when she suddenly stopped and said, “Mama look!” Beside her on a tulip sat three scary-looking bugs with spines on their backs.

My first instinct was to squash immediately, but sometimes the scariest-looking bugs are garden heroes. So I resisted the urge, grabbed Good Bug, Bad Bug and flipped quickly through the pages. There on the ladybug page was a picture of the ladybug larva.

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These larva are ferocious… at least if you’re an aphid, mealybug, or other garden pest.

Part of me really likes the sanitariness of pesticides. Just spray and kill all the bugs. Good as well as bad. Then you don’t have to worry whether that bug you see is eating your tomatoes or eating the bugs that want your tomatoes. Then you don’t have to risk seeing a spider busily at work in your garden or risk having a ladybug larva land on your arm.

Doesn’t that sound a bit appealing?

The problem is it would defeat one of my main purposes (and that of most home gardeners) of having a garden: growing fresh healthy food that isn’t covered in pesticide residue. Plus, it completely messes with the beautiful and intricate natural controls that God created to help our gardens.

As I’ve been reading about the bugs that make their homes in our gardens and the beautiful flowers and herbs we can plant to attract the good bugs and scare away the bad, I’ve been struck once again with wonder at God’s amazing creation.

For example, the beneficial hover fly won’t lay eggs on a non-infested plant. If the plant is infested, how many eggs a hover fly lays depends on the pest population. Isn’t that amazing? Beneficial bugs even communicate with one another by leaving a chemical mark on pests that have already been dealt with! (from Good Bug, Bad Bug)

One of my gardening goals is to create an environment that fosters all the beautiful (and ferocious) beneficial bugs.

I still have lots and lots to learn, but here are the steps I’m taking this year.

Learn to distinguish between good and bad bugs: 

If spending an hour playing with bugs wasn’t exactly your idea of fun as a kid (it sure wasn’t mine) then this can be a bit more of a challenge, but it’s proved to be quite exciting. When the kids or I come across a new bug, we’ll look it up in Good Bug, Bad Bug or The Organic Gardener’s Handbook of Natural Insect and Disease Control (two new favorites!) before we decide whether to encourage its presence or squash on sight from now on.

Grow flowers and herbs that attract good and discourage bad bugs: 

Marigolds, of course, are renowned for their ability to deter aphids and other bugs from around your vegetables (plus marigold roots clear the ground of microscopic nematodes that can reek havoc and the good effect lingers for up to three years!)

There are so many other amazing flowers and herbs to plant too, like nasturtium which “trap” bad bugs (and are edible), pungent herbs whose scent both confuses and deters bad bugs, and a vast variety of flowering plants that provide food and shelter for the good bugs if the pest population drops.

Create an environment that fosters good garden creatures: 

Previous owners of our home planted lilirope as a border around the little front gardens. The lilirope filled out into a big bushy mess that I really don’t like. I started clearing it away to replace with a rock border when I noticed beautiful blue-streaked skinks darting into the lilirope for cover. I was clearing away the home of the cute little lizards who feed on snails, slugs, grasshoppers, roaches and even small mice.

Before I clear away the other half of the lilirope, I want to be sure the skinks have another home by planting perennials they can overwinter in and hide from predators.

Many herbicides for treating weeds are toxic to lizards, frogs, and other small garden guests. Avoid using them if possible or seek a child and “pet”-safe natural alternative.

What are your favorite ways to make your garden a haven for good bugs? 

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Healthy 2Day, Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways,Works for Me, Walking Redeemed, Proverbs 31, Natural Living, & Simple Lives

[Full disclosure: links to products in this post are my referral links.]

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This year I wanted to start with Creation and tell the children the stories of the Bible systematically. However, I couldn’t find a Bible story book I really loved.

As you know, I tend to overanalyze things. Sometimes that paralyzes me from ever starting. Plus, I’m really, really, really picky when it comes to Bible story books, especially since this would be our first time to start at the beginning and go through the Bible.

I was getting discouraged.

One collection seemed way too cartoonish. Another skipped important stories, like Abraham and Isaac, but spent chapter after chapter describing the priest’s clothes and provisions. Another portrayed Jesus with blond hair and blue eyes.

My friend Jenn recommended an amazing looking story Bible, but Joshua wanted to take a look at it before I ordered it. We got busy and weeks passed.

At a friend’s excellent suggestion, I started having morning Bible reading time with the children (a wonderful way to immerse yourself in Scripture when you don’t have energy to get up before the kiddos!) Then the realization that parents have been telling stories straight from the Bible to their children for millennia hit me in the head. If parents throughout the ages have done it, I probably can too.

So, we started with the book of Genesis and are working our way through. It has been so exciting exploring God’s story together, with just the Bible and us!

While the children finish their breakfast, I pull out my Bible and read them the story. Some parts I condense, some parts we take extra time to talk about, and some parts I gloss over. But most of the story I just read as it’s written.

Not only am I loving it, the children cannot wait for the next chapter each morning and regularly ask me, “please read the next story!”

Something else that’s really amazed me: even the not-so-nice stories of the Bible are wonderful teaching tools. I was tempted to skip over the story of Noah’s drunkenness. Isn’t that a bit too, um, not nice for my kids? I thought. But I did read it. And we referred to it often in our daily training. When they’re tempted to be silly about sin, we talk about Noah, his wise sons, and his foolish son.

Even though angels stand in awe of His Story, God has made it simple enough for even children to begin to grasp. And love!

Very important clarification: If you have a Bible story that you and your children love, that’s wonderful. The point of this post is not to make you second-guess yourself. (I love what Jenn said about supplementing the reading of God’s Word with Bible stories designed for kids.) But for any moms like me who keep looking, be encouraged! “Just” the Bible is enough to captivate a child.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

“Green” and “carbon neutral” products are such a fad these days that it’s hard to walk down the street without some reminder to recycle, be carbon neutral, buy earth-friendly products, or even invest in reusable toilet paper that you can bleach. (Wasn’t bleach the ultimate evil a few years ago?)

As a Christian, I am glad for the concern for this wonderful world God created. I’m all for reducing waste, avoiding toxic chemicals, and eating as healthy as possible, but the frenzy can be ridiculous.

For example, have you noticed that recycled paper costs more now than regular paper simply because it’s recycled? My cousin from Germany told me that “In Germany the demand for recycled paper was so high, they would send new paper straight from the factory to the recycling plant to meet the demands.” Crazy, huh?

Last summer, as I pulled into the driveway of yet another potential house (with the burden of finding a home resting on my not-so-broad shoulders) I had this stream-of-consciousness “discussion” with God.

“God, I really just don’t know if I like this or not. I mean, this house hunting is kind of a fun adventure, but I really think I prefer the quiet pace of normal life a lot better. And really, I’d much prefer to have Joshua here and, You know, just be his chief advisor. This just seems a bit too adventurous for me, don’t You think? I just can’t figure out if I’m the kind of person that likes this kind of thing or not.”

[Feel free to laugh]

In the middle of this stream-of-consciousness ramble, God quieted my silly heart with the truth that it doesn’t really matter if I’m “the kind of person” that likes this kind of adventure.

If this is the adventure that lies in my path, then I need to ask God’s grace to face it wisely, with joy, whether or not it jives with my personality.

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Personality tests are incredibly popular these days and come in every shape and color.

Personality tests are used in hiring and recruiting. They are used for academic research. On an individual level, some people use them for determining careers, shaping identity, and even choosing a spouse.

Learning about different personalities is a fascinating way to understand your husband, children, friends and yourself better. Personality tests are a wonderful tool, as long as we’re careful not to let them control us.

If you get too caught up in defining personalities, it’s easy to try to cram yourself (or someone else) into a box. It is easy to shrug off sin because “well, that’s just the way I am.” It is easy to put a stamp of approval on certain personalities and look down on others. It is easy to whine and complain because “I’m not like ____.”

And that’s just plain wrong.

Personality is a good thing. The good and lovely parts of the many varying personalities are reflections of the ultimate Person: Christ.

But our goal shouldn’t be to become more Type A or Type B, more sanguine or more choleric, or more like the “hand” or the “mouth.” Our goal should be to become more like Jesus and to “attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Eph. 4:13)

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

After four years of renting (and being gone for 1-3 months each summer) I am garden obsessed this spring. While I’m waiting for the weather to make up it’s mind that spring is really here, I’ve been busy reading, planning and gathering supplies.

Gardening books from the library–One Magic Square is my favorite so far! 

Start small and keep it manageable, I keep having to remind myself (especially since we’re expecting a baby this summer). I’d gladly dig up half the yard right now, but probably wouldn’t have the energy or desire to weed and water it all come summer’s 100 degree weather.

This year I’m focusing on growing on our top favorite vegetables that are high on the dirty dozen list and/or are fairly expensive. Plus, we’re putting in a few berry bushes. (Happy squeal!)

Tomatoes, mini bell peppers, and herbs

I’ve never started my own tomato or pepper seeds before, but when I opened a copy of the Baker Creek Heirloom Seed catalog, how could I resist? You get a greater variety to choose from, ensure they’re heirloom seeds, save money, and get to play in the dirt sooner.

We made cute little newspaper pots that you can plant straight in the garden following Jacquline’s, from Deep Roots at Home’s, easy tutorial. They were fun to make and even Rose and Will were able to help.

Once the seeds germinated, I needed a mount for the grow light that was adjustable. Duplos were the perfect solution.

 Lettuce and spinach peaking up behind the rose bush