We’ve all heard the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Sadly, the saying is all too true. We mothers wield incredible influence over the climate of our family.
God has called us to wisely build our homes. Building a home is glorious work, but it is work. Hard work. My prayer is to cultivate a family culture that encourages our unique interests and glorifies God.
I have so much to learn still, but these are four ways I
have learned am learning to build my home.
4 Ways to Build Your Family Culture
Avoid the comparison trap
Falling into the comparison trap is such a strong temptation!
“Comparing ourselves amongst ourselves” is a sin as old as the world. The internet intensifies the temptation.
The web is a wonderful gift, opening up new worlds and connecting us with new people. But the web can also entrap us. It is easy to read a blog and get discouraged or jealous: someone else will always have more extravagant vacations, more creative family times or a more involved husband.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison tears the family down instead of building it up. If we are to wisely build our homes, we must stop comparing our own family with other families.
No two homes will look alike. That is a beautiful thing! Just like God didn’t make all flowers into roses, he didn’t give all families the same passions and interests.
Make your marriage top priority
If you have been blessed with marriage, your relationship with your husband is your most important earthly relationship. Guard it. Cultivate it.
As a mom of little ones, it’s so easy to let my children’s urgent wants crowd out time for my marriage. I’m their mom, of course I need to care for them, but I also need to carve out time to pour my heart into making marriage glorious.
Embrace the little things
Just like a child’s worldview is shaped from millions of forgotten moments, the tapestry of the family is woven with millions of tiny threads.
My children have a hole in their ceiling with a hook end in it (left by a previous tenant). Part of their going-to-bed routine is jiggling the peg, affectionately referred to as “stirring the soup”.
It’s a silly tradition, but they love it. I love it too because it’s another thread of our family tapestry.
Purposefully build traditions
In our day of instant gratification and a dozen distractions, it’s easy to let family time slide. But we moms have such an incredible opportunity to shape the culture of our family… if we’re willing to work at it.
Traditions don’t have to be expensive or complicated. Here are a few super simple ideas…
- Put down the gadgets and enjoy dinner together
- Collect your change and save up for a trip to the zoo
- Serve others as a family
- Learn poetry or go hiking or sing operas or read stories together (see our bedtime literature choices)
In short, find things that your family loves doing together and make it a point to do them. Build your family traditions!
Build Your Family Culture
It doesn’t take tons of money to build a beautiful family culture. Instead, it takes love and work to avoid harmful comparisons, prioritize your marriage, embrace the little things, and purposefully make family traditions. This kind of work is totally worth every effort.