While beginning the task of packing for the summer, I started to worry about leaving our home for such a long time. What if someone breaks in while we’re gone?

I quickly realized however, that there wouldn’t be much to tempt a burglar. The laptops, my two pieces of expensive jewelry and the scrapbooks are coming with us. (Scrapbooks are on the most stolen list, right?)

We don’t have (or want) a flatscreen tv,  any consoles or video games or an antique collection and we’ve experienced firsthand a burglar’s opinion of our musical tastes.

Until our first Christmas together, we hardly gave burglars a second thought. Then on Christmas Eve when we went to get in the car for a morning service, the passenger door was slightly ajar. Looking inside, the seats were covered in papers from the glove box and a gaping whole replaced the car stereo. Not exactly the best Christmas present–for us at least.

To make it even worse, we noticed that the burglar had rummaged through the cds in the car. But as we put them all back it was clear that not a single one had been stolen. How insulting! What’s wrong with Gilbert & Sullivan, Ray Vaughn William’s orchestral arrangments or operas, pray tell?

After that, we religiously locked our car…until one night two weeks later. We forgot. Once again we had a visit. Apparently, the burglar was looking for the remote. He didn’t find it. Rose had claimed it as her own personal phone and hardly parted from it for months. Nothing seemed to be stolen, but when we got to church and reached for the box of Altoids, we realized we hadn’t escaped unscathed.

He stole our Altoids. Of all the nerve!

Moral of the story: Buy Altoids, but lock your car doors.

Note to would-be burglars: We’re even taking the Altoids with us. Sorry! Interested in Criminal Law? We are leaving a few textbooks behind.

photo by Penny Matthews