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My Life Is Not About My Happiness

May 23, 2013

Life is not fair.

The Bible is full of hard commands. Things like “submit” and “rejoice always” (like, even when your baby refuses to go to sleep at 3:00 a.m.)

~~Sometimes~~ Often I’d much rather sulk and hold a pity party than rejoice.

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A dear friend, who was going through marital difficulties, once told me, “marriage is not for happiness, it’s for holiness.”

Ideally, marriage should be bursting with happiness since it is a glorious picture of Christ and His church. (I am very blessed to be in a marriage that is wonderfully happy!)

However, her words have stuck with me because they carry a truth that is so foreign in modern America: happiness is not a right.

God did not put us on this earth so that we could do whatever we wanted to please ourselves. No matter how loudly my selfish nature screams the contrary, my life is ultimately not about my happiness.

There is an even greater good than happiness, holiness.

Often times, God says “no” to our earnest prayers because He is more concerned about our holiness than we are and because He wants us to find our happiness in Him, not all the things we think we need to be happy.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

Review or Forget: the Poetry Jar

May 22, 2013

Teaching scripture and poetry to children is one of the simplest ways to instill truth, expand their minds and vocabulary, and increase their appreciation for the beauty of language.

Children memorize at an almost alarming rate. I want to take advantage of this ability while they’re little.

My goal is to teach them one Scripture passage and one poem a month, followed by a “poetry night” where we make special food and they get to recite for Joshua. [The word "goal" is important here. I think we spent all winter while we fought one sickness after another learning the Apostles' Creed.]

The problem with memorization is, if you don’t keep reviewing, you’re almost guaranteed to forget.

After teaching the children a poem until they could recite it flawlessly, only to have them stumbling over the first line a month later, I knew something had to change.

That’s where the poetry jar comes in. After we learn a new passage or poem, the title goes into the poetry mug. Each school day, the children get to pick a slip of paper and recite the passage they picked.

There’s something about the element of suspense that makes them just love our review time. Now we’re not spending time learning new poetry only to have them forget what we already learned.

If you want to start teaching your little ones poetry but don’t know where to start, here are the poems we’ve started with for Rose (5) and Will (3):

The Caterpillar, by Chistina Rossetti
Nothing Gold Can Stay, by Robert Frost
Poem 56 (The Pedigree of Honey), by Emily Dickinson (I was reading poetry aloud to them and they thought this one was so hilarious–though they certainly didn’t get it— that we simply had to memorize it.)
A Child of Royal Birth, by Anna Johnson (only the first stanza)
A Purple Cow, by Gelett Burgess

My friend Jenn, from The Purposeful Mom, compiled a lovely resource for Scripture Memory, God’s Word in My Heart.

What are your favorite kids’ poems?

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

[Full disclosure: Links to products in this post are my referral links.]

Tagged with: Homeschool • poetry

Make the Most of Mealtimes

May 15, 2013

The dinner table holds many fond memories from my growing up years. After we’d eaten dinner as a family, we lingered around the table. Sometimes we sang. Sometimes we talked about current events. Occasionally I’d subject my sweet family to a fifteen minute history lesson on the causes of the Battle of Hastings. (I’m so glad they love me!)

As we children grew older and our schedules got more hectic, dinnertime became even more special. I remember unwillingly dragging myself away from the table because I simply had to go study for a test.

“Secret Ingredient I” ~ Purchase at AllPosters.com

In our hectic culture, it’s getting more rare for families to eat dinner together each night. According to a recent Gallup poll, only about a quarter of Americans with children eat dinner together daily. Almost one quarter eat three dinners or less together per week.

Even more sad is that the average parent only spends 38.5 minutes in meaningful conversation with their children per week! (A.C. Nielsen Co.)

38.5 minutes isn’t nearly enough time to nurture a soul and shape a worldview.

In the Bible, the table is where much of the worldview-shaping in a family takes place. The table is a place for teaching, for feasting, for fellowship. When the Psalmist painted a picture of a blessed man, he described his children “as olive plants round about his table.” (Ps. 128)

My desire is that as my children hit their teenage years, they find it as hard to pull away from our table as I did from my parents’.

But a table the family loves to linger around doesn’t just happen. It takes work, time, and lots of love.

Building our family culture is part of our calling and making the most of mealtimes is part of that building process.

Start meaningful conversations. Take turns sharing about your day, tell what you’re grateful for, and ask questions. Teach your children to listen and ask questions too.
Make the meal beautiful. This is one my mom was so good at! She often pulled out a pretty tablecloth, lighted a candle, and made a centerpiece. Even for simple meals, the food looked aesthetically pleasing. I remember her adding green beans to the meal at the last minute because “the meal has too much brown and orange in it.”
Learn together. Memorize a poem together or take turns sharing new things you’ve learned. As they get older, encourage them to share about what they’ve learned in school or discovered themselves.
Teach about food. What better time to teach your children about different kinds of food and the benefits of eating good fresh food, than while sitting around the table!
Tell stories. There are few things my children love more than a family story. I have also started telling the stories of the Bible to them at breakfast. My five and three-year-old love it, even though I’m generally reading straight from the pages of the Bible. Not only does telling stories at breakfast mean that they’re sitting nice and still, we don’t let a busy day crowd out the Scriptures!
Treasure meals together. I am so blessed to have a husband that is such a good example in this. Even when he’s incredibly busy at work, he makes great efforts to come home and eat with us. Sometimes I don’t do as good of a job. If I really want my children to treasure mealtimes, I need to lead by example and treat time with them around the table as more important than getting the dishes done efficiently.

What about you? How do you make the most of your mealtimes?

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

[Full disclosure: links to products in this post are my referral links.]

Tagged with: family traditions • matters of the heart

Before I Was a Mom

May 10, 2013

From the archives.

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Before I was a mom, a clean home seemed reasonable.

Before I was a mom, I thought there was only one right method for most mommy dilemmas.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize that closing the bathroom door is a universal cue for children to need you.

Before I was a mom, I thought I had mastered patience.

Before I was a mom, a “quick errand” really was quick.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t appreciate my own mom nearly enough.

Before I was a mom, the phrase “sleeping like a baby” made sense.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize that sometimes all the parenting advice will fail and only prayer will work.

Before I was a mom, I thought my parents exaggerated when they said “enjoy every moment, because before you know it your kids will be grown.” Now, I believe it.

Before I was a mom, I never thought I could read Dr. Seuss so many times without losing my sanity.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t know that getting three children to nap simultaneously deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

Before I was a mom, I didn’t realize how much more precious chubby, sticky fingers are than a mountain of diamonds.

Wishing a very Happy Mother’s Day to my own dear mother and mother-in-law and the many wonderful women who have embraced the high calling of motherhood.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Graced Simplicity, Proverbs 31, & Finer Things Friday

Tagged with: holidays • matters of the heart • toddlerhood

Motherhood When You Don’t Have the Answers

May 8, 2013

Motherhood is one of the most wonderful, but challenging, journeys it’s possible for a woman to undertake.

Stacks of parenting books and years of babysitting experience cannot adequately prepare you for every challenge that will arise as you seek to raise your children in the “fear and nurture of the LORD.”

Raising our children in God’s fear requires God’s wisdom. Thankfully, He gives His wisdom liberally to those ask.

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My lack of answers was driven home to me early in my journey of motherhood. Most vivid in my mind is our “Yes ma’am” battle.

Joshua and I decided we really liked how respectful [many of the] children in the South are and their quick and cheerful “Yes ma’am” or “No sir”. We wanted Rose, then three, to start saying it too.

For some reason I can’t figure out, it became a battle. A huge battle. We’d be enjoying a lovely morning together when I’d ask her to say “Yes ma’am” and suddenly her whole mood changed. I tried everything I could think of. I read parenting books and asked our moms for advice. Nothing worked. After weeks (maybe it was just days, but it sure felt like weeks) of this losing battle, I was desperate

I asked God for wisdom.

Before even getting up from my knees, the solution was clear.

Rose and I sat down and talked about authority. We talked about how she and Will are under our authority, I am under Joshua’s, we’re all under civil and ecclesiastical authority and most especially under God’s authority. I explained that even though Joshua and I are grown and no longer have to obey our parents we still seek to respect them and ask them for advice.

It’s still amazing to me, but from that moment, her attitude completely changed. She said “Yes ma’am!” with a smile and a kiss. I no longer dreaded asking her to do something.

Many times since then a motherhood challenge has left me stumped and desperate (and my oldest is only pushing six!) Many times I’ve been forced to my knees. God has never failed yet.

James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

It’s a promise I’ve claimed many times since entering this wonderful journey of motherhood and one I’m sure I’ll need to rely on many times more.

Linked up at Mama Moments, Growing Home, Encourage One Another, Walking Redeemed, Our Simple Country Life, & Proverbs 31

Tagged with: prayer